TWO WORDS.....

Two words, that’s all it takes to change your life.  I have been thinking about a question Annie Coe, an artist whose work I greatly admire, posed on her Facebook wall.  She asked, and I am paraphrasing here, “What word or words were annoying or over used?”.  Instantly two words came to my mind.  While one of these can be a positive word that means exceptional, outstanding, unique, excellent, or exquisite, it’s all in the way you use it.  Combined with my second word it has a far graver meaning.  What are these two words you might be wondering?  Rare and incurable.

In my case rare does not mean all the previously stated positive things, instead, it means infrequent, unusual, uncommon, out of the ordinary.  Combined with incurable which for me means chronic, persistent, longstanding, constantly reoccurring, long-term, they are two words that definitely annoy me.  Those two words spilled right out of my physicians mouth back in October of last year and they were confirmed by a specialist in January of this year.  I knew something was very very wrong about this time last spring and little incidents over the past year did not all click into place until a simple requirement by our insurance company to have a physical revealed some questionable lab results.

I have been tossed more two word combinations throughout this discovery, unknown factors, early stages, outcome unpredictable, secondary conditions (yes with and s meaning more than one) side effects, and the only semi-positive ones being, manageable and treatable (if the medication is tolerated and there is a huge trade off here that could harm my eyesight). I am still trying to process this news months later after being diagnosed with a rare and incurable auto immune disease.  Along with this I have four secondary conditions that are caused by the main condition.  While the cause of this disease is unknown, thankfully it is not contagious, genetic, or hereditary.

I have learned that Google likes to over scare and Google is not the boss of me so I have refrained from any more advice from that source.  I now rely (somewhat) on my specialist and the good common sense that God gave me to make choices and decisions.  I did not buy a ticket for this particular train ride but I am on it none the less so I am trying to enjoy the scenery on the good days and relax and rest on the bad ones.

The worst of this is the not knowing.  I have no idea which form I have, there is a lesser form with limited symptoms and systems involved and a broader form with more symptoms and systems involved.  I have no idea how bad it can get and I am not good at the unknown.  It is already affecting my hands and honestly that terrifies me...to not be able to paint or draw or click a camera...to not be able to do the simplest of tasks.  I am already experiencing difficulty with dexterity and sensitivity in my hands,  I tire more easily, and my immune system is shot causing me to have an over reaction to the most common simple ills.  I won’t lie, there were a few dark days of feeling overwhelmed and depressed.  I did have myself big ol’ two week long pity party a while back then I slapped myself upside the head, put back on my Pollyanna attitude, my big girl pants, and a pink tutu, (totally needing a triple threat) and am now back on track!

Like any change in life, it will take time to get used to.  There is a huge difference between being a victim suffering from an illness and being a person living with a disease.  I refuse to be passive or helpless or defined by it.  This is a hard goal to achieve, especially on the days when I feel really bad or really want to do something and am just physically unable to. It's hard when people tell you, "Well you look just fine to me." when they can't peer into my body systems that have gone awry or be in my skin to feel the effects. I am looking hard for the lessons God wants me to learn in this change of the unpredictable and uncertain nature of this disease and its effect on my daily life.

Annie posed another question a few days later asking what word or words you liked hearing or using.   I guess at this point I am whispering two words that make a compound word to myself...overcome...succeeding in dealing with or gaining control of a problem or difficulty.  I am not there yet but I am working my way towards that goal.

All this said to say if I am absent from social media, if I am not making and showing art or nature photography, making videos, or sharing my words it is because for right now my focus is on getting a balance in my health and emotional well being.

Blessings,
Sandy

TINY TRIP, TINY HOUSE, TINY BIT TIRED...

I took a tiny trip to Tennessee...

I took a tiny hike upon a tiny trail...

 I saw a waterfall flowing wild and free...

I spent the night in a tiny house nestled in a tiny dale...

 I wandered through a tiny forest of karst limestone topography... 

I let out a tiny sigh, my how the time did fly...

I was so content, standing sheltered under the aged trees...

I turned and bid Tennessee goodbye...

We were so limited on time that we were not able to hike down to the bottom of Cummins Falls in Cookeville, TN but we did take the tiny hike to the overlook.  If you look closely at the photo you can see people at the base of the falls swimming.

The tiny house we stayed in overnight was built by an Amish Woodworker and the workmanship was amazing.  It was so comfortable, clean, and well appointed.  There is another pink tiny house on the grounds as well as a cabin style tiny house being built. Hammocks hang from trees for guests to relax in and stone fire pits stand at the ready for marshmallow roasting. The rental price for these little hidden gems is beyond reasonable ( tiny house for rent ) 

The 10 acre property is privately owned with gorgeous woodland trails with limestone karst topography. Karst topography is a landscape that is formed from the dissolution of soluble rocks such as limestone, dolomite, and gypsum. It is characterized by underground drainage systems with sinkholes and caves.   The owner of the property thinks there is an underground cave system that may have been created over time by the ebb and flow of the large lake that skirts the property.

If you are ever in the area of Galatin, TN you MUST eat at Mabel's Dining Room!  Best melt in your mouth non greasy catfish dinner you will ever dine on, truly a taste of heaven on a plate!

This was literally a whirlwind trip, 48 hours to be exact, but we managed to squeeze a little fun in between business.  I am off to plan my next adventure!

Blessings,

Sandy 

DRINKING IN THE BEAUTY...

"There is a serene and settled majesty to woodland scenery that enters into the soul and delights and elevates it, and fills it with noble inclinations."

~Washington Irving~

My every morning delight is to traverse from room to room in my home unveiling the living picture scenes that are views from my windows, letting in the sunbeams and washes of light.  I take the time to pause and gaze through each framed view anticipating what I might see.  On this particular spring morning it was a scene from a woodland fairy tale filled with birds, squirrels and butterflies.  New leaves in all shades of greens had burst forth from the nights cool rain and the warmth of the morning sun.  Tiny wildflowers and blooming weeds dotted the lawn.  I wanted to be a part of that world, so I set off on a walk on the new trail we are forging on the back side of our property...come walk with me and drink in the beauty...

At the trail head velvety new oak leaves are unfurling in the forest of oaks...

Twisting bramble vines will soon be a profusion of wild honey suckle and wild grapevine...

The air is filled with birdsong.  I hear a slight rustling off to my left and spy this little winged beauty in the bramble...

Just above him is this blooming beauty...

I discover a whole colony of these little oddities.  At first I thought they were acorns but they are soft and spongy more like a fungi.  I am not sure what they are but they made quite a scene like little nature aliens poised on pointy tiptoes peering one eyed at the stones...

Our woodlands are filled with several varieties of oak trees, I especially like the color and texture of the soft baby leaf blooms, I take just a few to press...

I am not the only one using this trail this morning, my deer friends have left their tracks in the soft earthen floor near the bramble where they usually bed down for the night...

I find the trunk of this twisted tree quite interesting and wonder how it came to be...

Over mossy stones...

Skirting the test dig for we hope will become a small wildlife pond...

Past the blooming wild blackberry vines...

Under the cleft in the rock face, where a little red fox used to live...

Sheltered by the boulders...

I stop and sit, taking in a view of the spring time sky...

Here is where I stake out my woodland hammock hanging trees, between two sturdy oaks next to this little hickory down below the boulder shelter near the old rock ringed campfire...

A hidden spot to be sure, a place to watch spring and dreams unfold...

A place to shed the layers of worry and life...

Where the framework of new dreams can form, like this natural structure becoming a wee child size tepee for the grands...

A sweet spot to hide away in...

Where thoughts can untangle...

I linger listening to the wind whisper through the pines nearby.  I let the sun warm the chill of my skin.  I listen, eyes closed, to the bird voices trying to identifying the owners.  I collect a few leaves and add them to my press.  I feel the pull of work calling, refreshed I slowly amble back to where I started.

The last step emerging from the woodland to the lawn... 

The poignancy of this image is not lost on me,   To me its an image of seasons past and present and future.  The old lying fallow, the new springing forth with life, and the future stretched out like a shadow of things to come.  I like where I am in this moment in time, right in the middle, blooming where I am planted, growing, learning, being, doing... spring really does give a sense of hope and renewal.  

I hope you have enjoyed this little stroll through my world where I center myself in solitude, find inspiration, and give thanks.  May your day be filled with the overflowing joy!

Blessings,

Sandy

DEFINING SUCCESS: COOKIE CUTTER STYLE...

(Studio 2017...while its clean, which is not often but I have to tape a class intro in there and I thought it needed it.  Lots of ready to use collage background substrates)

“I so admire artists who have one sole focus or medium they work in, it takes far less supplies and space than my mixed media method of madness.”  This was my thought after the latest round of trying to fit what amounts to a square peg (my supplies) into a round hole (small space).  But, I DID IT! , success!  My defining success was paring down to not a lot of anything but a little bit of everything for my mixed media needs and (the hard part) having a home for it all.

(Bead and Embellishment Storage)

Last spring I was in touch with a very successful well known artist who is also mentors other artists.  After emails, phone conversations, and a visit to my social media sites and blog the advice was that in order to be a success I would have to dial it back and focus on one thing.

(Rubber Stamps, Hand Dyed Ribbons, Paints,Paper, Buttons, Tools, Jewelry Embellishments, Etc.  My "sink" is a new addition to the studio, love it!)

 I could not have a messy mixed media blog that had posts of writing, art, tutorials, nature photography, travel, and bits of randomness.   I needed not one but two Facebook accounts, one personal and one professional, and for heaven’s sakes quit posting all those quirky bits of travel logs with tons of photos no one has time to look at much less read.  Why am I not tweeting on Twitter?  Step it up on Instagram!   More selfies less nature!  What about Vimeo and YouTube, where are my channels?  My Pinterest  page is weak and my blog needed a modernized design.  Why did I not have an official artist website?  My bio is not sophisticated enough. It’s been too long since I had listed art for sale on Etsy.   It all needs to be about the art but, I MUST pick ONE thing to focus on be it book arts, art journaling, jewelry, stitch, collage, or painting, just pick ONE and focus, then I would be on the road to success.

(My desk where I make jewelry, sketch, art journal, or layout designs)

To say I was a little taken aback is an understatement.  At first I was downright offended.  Then I was overwhelmed and feeling really insecure.  Should I delete everything and start all over?  Did I want to?  So I decided to break down the advice I was given. I am not much into social media, I guess it’s because it was not a part of my generation growing up, it’s something I have had to learn and adapt to but on my terms.

(My metalsmithing and glass work table just behind the bead and embellishment storage shelf)

I don’t want to be behind a computer or phone screen all the time.  I don’t feel the need for constant communication.  I like my quite moments in nature where I can hear myself think while focusing my camera lens on the majesty of beauty that nature has to offer.  That is art to me, the art of silence and presence of savoring a moment.   I don’t need constant contact with people; I like silence and maybe that comes from being an only child who spent a lot of time alone.

(Sewing Storage, (my daughter gifted me all those amazing boxes and the bakers rack was just purchased this weekend, still getting that area set up) The Tower of Terror paper hoard, lots of Ephemera and goodies!)

 Soooo, one blog, one Facebook account, Pinterest pins are for me and my inspiration or ideas, I am doing better at Instagram, I am still not tweeting, taking selfies, or doing video so I can be “discovered”.  I don’t yet have an official artist website but someday I will.  So I give away more art than I sell, that’s my choice.  My bio is me to a sweet-T, no need to change it.  Nature is my main inspiration in art and my travels are a part of that process, those posts and pics will stay.  As for focus on one medium or type of art, well I am just not a cookie cutter kind of girl.

(This is my main work space where I glue and goo and mess and gob and paint.  Its also where I set up to film, you can see the backdrop on the table and extra lighting and peek of the tripod.)

Cookie cutter neighborhoods are sad to me (no offense intended if you happen to live in one please, I grew up in one) that just does not fit me.  I love quirky old neighborhoods, run down old houses, even better something that was never intended to be a home but has been converted into one; they all have individuality and personality.  I saw the advice I was given for just what it was, success cookie cutter style, not intended to harm or alarm but a blueprint of the steps of success this particular artist took to get where they are today.  It’s that square peg in a round hole thing again; it just does not fit me.

(Book storage under the table in vintage colorful crates)

I can’t be me and not create a variety of art just as much as I can’t be a vanilla flavored cookie cut out over and over and over again with the same round shape cookie cutter producing the same type of thing repeatedly.  I am more of spice cookie, a variety of flavors to my mixed media.  I would be cut out as a Gingerbread man who is holding a heart shaped cookie(still going to share my heart and art) and chasing a star shaped cookie (while chasing my artful dreams), running as fast as I can, delighting in my adventures along the way.  Maybe my way is reckless and foolish as the Gingerbread man in the storybook and I will get gobbled up and lost in the fray but at least I will have stayed true to myself.

That in large part explains my long absence from this blog.  I lost myself in thinking I needed to adapt to a cookie cutter way set by someone else and it completely threw me off track.   I am back to mixing my media, varying my projects, and making happy spicy messes as more than one shaped cookie and my recipe for success suits me just fine!