"The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. Any why shouldn't it be? It is the same the angels breathe."
~Mark Twain, "Roughing It"~
Today I woke up wondering if I might possibly be THE worst mother in the world. There are a lot of conflicting emotions when ones nest is suddenly empty. Over the years I have read all sorts of things about empty nest syndrome from falling into deep pits of depression to failed marriages. One never knows how one will react until it actually happens.
I once read an article by Emilie Barnes where she told of her last child, a daughter, leaving home. She said she stood at the end of her driveway waving until her daughters car was a tiny speck then she turned, let out whoop, jumped into the air, and clicked her heels together. Now would be her time.
If you know anything about Emilie and her ministry or her writing you will know that she is an amazing woman who was a totally devoted wife and mother who took her duties very seriously. I am shocked that my initial reaction of "OH NO!" has so quickly turned to "OH BOY!" Now is my time.
I keep asking my two best friends, who have traveled this path before me, if this is a normal reaction. Should I not be missing her desperately? Should I not be worrying more and not less? Shouldn't I be depressed and wanting to stay in bed instead of bounding out each morning with a new found sense of freedom? Is it wrong to love that I now get a hot shower in the mornings instead of a tepid one? Is it selfish that I love not being relegated to her work schedule for meal times? Is it wrong that now that the weight of the daily task of parenting has been lifted off my shoulders that I feel lighter, more free, and ready to embrace this new season of life? OR do these things make me THE worst mother in the world?
I am finding empty nest syndrome to be very confusing. I am not depressed and my marriage is not stressed. I thought it would be devastating. I thought I would be roughing it, but it feels like a very natural order of things. By releasing my daughter to spread her wings for her solo flight in life, I am suddenly finding the joy in a little solo flying of my own. We are in a sense sharing this new experience together yet in separate ways. It is a bonding without previous boundaries. The fresh air we are now flying in is indeed very fine, very pure, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be? I feel God's blessing. Now is our time.Blessings,
Miss Sandy
