T*E*C*H*N*O*L*O*G*Y Make Me Crazy.....

"It is difficult not to wonder whether the combination of elements which produces a machine for labor does not create also a soul of sorts, a dull resentful metallic will, which can rebel at times."

~Pearl S. Buck~(image source)

Technology, love it or hate it, it is a huge part of life these days. I grumbled just one too many times last week about missing the days before cell phones when I could actually go out and not be tracked or strapped down with a phone. Mine died, much to my dismay and to the delight of my family.

They were tired of it cutting them off while they were talking to me. They were tired of trying to reach me only to find that my cell phone was as tired as me of taking calls so, it did the logical thing and shut itself off. They were tired of yelling into the phone because my wicked little cell phone made the volume go up and down at will. Her joints had gone slack and her disc slipped causing a bit of disconnected confusion from time to time.

I really think the poor old dear just wanted to live a useful but peaceful existence and not be bothered by the trivial things in life. Now in an emergency, she would come through every time. She was also an excellent receptionist, recording word for word any message left to her. The only problem was that she often forgot where she put them and that made them a little hard to retrieve, especially when her little blinking message light was on the fritz and I did not know there was one. She was also an excellent time keeper. As you can see, she had many fine attributes, she was just a little cantankerous.

I managed to put off replacing her for almost an entire week and it was bliss to travel around without my purse ringing! The fateful day arrived when my sneaky husband suggested lunch at a new restaurant that happened to be strategically placed next door to the cell phone store. Many suggestions of, "Let's go and look at phones.", were met with excuses. After lunch we are strolling to the car and he steers me to the store next door.

"Oh bother!", I think to myself as an eager beaver salesman practically trips over himself to get to us. I tell him we do not need help that I only want to look around. I had no idea so many versions of one little item existed. When he started to follow me I turned and gave him "the look", you know, the one only a mother can give that says, "I meant what I just said!" He backed off a few steps, thank you very much, but he continued to talk, rattling off each attribute as I looked at each little modern marvel.

I almost choked over the prices. After he finished prattling from a respectful distance, I turned to him and quipped, "Does it cook dinner?" He looked a little puzzled, "Um, no." "Well it should for these prices." I am not kidding you people, I could buy a brand new top of the line range with stainless steel finish for what some of these little things cost!

I patiently explain that I don't want a phone with a little keyboard. I don't twitter, tweet, or text, I only talk. Even though I am extremely directionally challenged, I do not need a GPS because I would miss out on many fun adventures if I always knew where I was going or where I would end up. I don't need a built in camera because my other camera would be extremely jealous and might quit on me. I don't want it to play games because I prefer board games where there is interaction with other people, real live people, not just me, myself, and I. I don't want to be able to access the Internet, check emails, or blog because I need to exercise other parts of my body, not just my fingers. I explain to him that there is a real world out there to be experienced and explored and mine was not solely wrapped up in a little electronic device.

After my magnanimous speech, he directs me to the basic phone area where I tell him what I do want in a phone. I need a phone that will allow me to talk, tell time, and take messages if I am not available, to be returned at my convenience, period. I want an easy to see keypad and to not need a degree from MIT to operate the thing. And, could you please make mine green?

Much to my delight I am now the proud owner of a sweet little green phone with an easy to use/see keypad. It displays large numbers when you dial. The day, date, and time are clearly visible. I can navigate around easily and it takes wonderful messages. I was told that it does come with some basic extras but he hastily assured me that I don't actually have to use them. And, it did not make a dent in my retirement fund to purchase it, although I am disappointed that it cannot cook dinner!

Now, I know you are thinking, "Miss Sandy, where are the pictures that always accompany your posts?" Well, I tell ya, we are having a little electronic rebellion here at the Quill. Just yesterday afternoon I go in to use my printer only to find it had joined my old cell phone in the great technology heap in the sky.

A trip to town netted a new one, I'll spare you the speech this time. Somehow, this new one is very sneaky. When we loaded, (we, meaning Handy Hubby), the software, it hid some of my stuff and I can't find it. When blogger brings up the box to upload photos, my photo page is gone! It is on my computer but not on my list of choices. I can't scan anything because it says some screen has to be changed but does not tell me what to change. I did get it to print though. That is progress don't you think?

I think I will go and give it "the look" and see if I can make it understand that I mean business! Do you think it will work?

Blessings,
Miss Sandy

P.S. I hope by the end of the day to have brought a smarter than me piece of equipment under submission, find my photos, and pretty up my posts!