Monday, April 12, 2010

BYE-BYE MIDSUMMERS DREAM BLUE, HELLO RED CALICIO...

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is is a part of ourselves, we must die to one life before we can enter another."

-Anatole France-

This morning my head is filled with crazy song lyrics amid a mixed confusion of feelings for all that has transpired over the weekend. On the one hand I hear the Beatles singing, "You say goodbye and I say hello, hello, hello, I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello..." And I am wondering the same thing, why oh why did I say goodbye to my cozy, magical, tucked away in the back corner of the house, safe, best lit, deer, bird, and squirrel viewing, everything I need is only a few steps away studio!!! I said goodbye and my little abandoned studio is calling hello to me.

And then there is that song of longing for something that has passed. Running through my brain is, "You're gonna miss this, your gonna want this back, You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast. These are some good times, So take a look around, You may not know it now, But you're gonna miss this..." I found every last word of this chorus to be true. I could hardly sleep last night for wishing I could move back in there. I must be crazy.
Perhaps you would like to hear the rest of the story as I have left you at an ending and not begun at the beginning. It all started on Friday afternoon. I had been happily creating in my Midsummer's Dream blue studio the entire day not knowing it was to be my last day to inhabit that space. It caught me by surprise and I have been reeling ever since.

Handy Hubby and I were on the way up to the farm to mow and weed the yard when he made the announcement. Due to the recent changes at his work he would no longer have an office there but be based out of a home office and in the field. The current office situation will no longer work as his desk is in a common area of the home with no way to shut out distractions or noise he might need for phone calls or concentration on blueprints. So, he needed my studio.
He was being extremely generous because he was offering me the larger of the two spaces we could use. I would then have room to have up to six students if I wanted to begin holding classes, more wall space, larger windows, and a closet double in size for supply storage. He did not need that much space, just one wall really for his desk, computer, and product literature storage. We could get a small sofa bed for seating and that would solve guest sleeping if needed - not the most comfortable but the most practical. It sounded like a wonderful solution. He dangled the carrot and I bit!

We chattered like two squirrels all the way to the farm and back sharing ideas, plans, and dreams for our new spaces, both excited over the prospect. The next day we were at the paint store selecting our perspective paint chips still riding on an excited high. With a quick move of the assorted accumulation in what was to become my new studio we were off and painting.
In the afternoon when the paint dried we got the contents of the room moved in an somewhat placed. I was still on an excited high at that point. We rounded out the day by patching, sanding, and priming the old studio. Yesterday we tackled the painting. I let Handy Hubby pick out his own paint chip for his new office and was shocked that he picked a shade of red - Calico. It is more of a brick red and in some lighting can look a little like brown. Anyway, paint away we did. We will do the second coat this evening, with a little touch up of the trim to freshen it back up, and then it will be move in ready.The singing in my head began last night as I was trying to go to sleep. I was tossing and turning and suddenly feeling anxious. I had the crazy thought of slipping out of bed and running to the big box store for primer and paint and restoring my room to it former glory and putting my stuff back in there, letting Handy Hubby be lost in all that other space. Space is highly over rated, you really don't need that much.

Sensing my restlessness, he asked me what was wrong and I felt silly saying it aloud. "I miss my room!" He said, "I understand, I really do, it is not about the room, it is about the change." He was right. I was nervous about all the changes we have had taking place. I was anxious about having our lives, routines, and schedules altered. I was wondering how he could conduct business and I classes or have friends over without the one disturbing the other. I was wondering about the blending of this new phase in life for us.

This morning I stood in the hall between the two rooms and looked at them both and thought of all the changes they have seen since we moved here.
First they housed a little boy and a baby girl and those were happy golden years. They changed and housed a tween and a teen. They moved forward housing a young man and a young lady. Then, all too soon they were empty. One grew into a small home studio and the other a place for a collection of oddities. Now it is time for them to grow and change and be useful in new ways.

From where I stood I could see the two new colors on the walls and there was a certain harmony and coordination between the two as I knew there would have to be between each rooms occupant. I said goodbye to what was, smiling, and facing what is. Yes, I am going to miss this...
But, with the offer ringing in my ears of the last words he whispered to me as we dropped off to sleep, "It's just paint. If you are not happy we can change it back and move you back in anytime you want to. And, if you don't want to, you can sit in my chair anytime you want to and watch the deer. It's gonna be OK." He wasn't talking about the paint or the choice of rooms, he was talking about us and our lives. We are going to be OK.

As I tackle trying to make this new room feel magical a new tune pops into my head, I hear whistling and the words, "Here's a little song I wrote, You might want to sing it note for note, Don't worry be happy, In every life we have some trouble, When you worry you make it double, Don't worry, Be Happy, Don't worry be happy now..."

I am off to make myself a happy day and I hope that you all will do the same!

Blessings,
Miss Sandy

20 comments:

Jennifer Pearson Vanier said...

I totally understand your post! Change is hard, no matter what it is. I hope you will find great inspiration and pleasure in your new space. You have a special hubby who understands what is all means to you.We too are embarking on another big change. As almost "empty nesters" looking for a new place to live in another part of the province(hubby got a better job- at least we hope it is), I have no idea if there will be place to house my little Shoppe, the one I have worked so hard to create here, where we are now. A good place to call home is the priority. The Shoppe, secondary, but oh so very important to me. So, I try to be patient and hope for a good outcome we can all live with. We will know when we see it. In the mean time I am trying to soak up all we love about this place. Thank you for sharing.

Vickie said...

"Let not your heart be troubled" Miss Sandy.

I understand your angst. Been feeling a little of that myself. We're comtemplating selling our home and moving to the farm - which I've dreamed of doing for years. But when I look at the house, all I see are loving memories of our children growing up there, The Christmases, the birthdays, the "everydays", the boo-boos that had to be fixed, the different styles they all 3 had in their bedrooms. It's hard to change and let go of all that, and it's going to be VERY hard for me to leave this house. But leave we must at some point. I have no little baby memories at the farm, no matter how badly we want to move there.

Be brave and when you get all your studio "stuff" in your new room, I'll bet you come back even MORE inspired than ever!!!

sonya said...

Miss Sandy,
I know exactly how you feel too! Change is hard. I was so overwhelmed when I moved.And my new craftroom is so much bigger but I was anxious and that odd feeling of "I need to go back" to where I was comfortable. Then I have to remember that my memories aren't where I was but in my mind, with me! That helps me feel better.
I think too what makes it so hard for you is that it happened so fast. Your head was spinning, mine would be too! But maybe eventually you will end up liking this change even more. You will make it... YOU, and it will be a room that you will want to keep and share with us, (I hope!) :)
Have a great, exciting new week! Thank you for sharing...
Blessings, Sonya

Vee said...

Gosh, you're good! I mean that on at least two levels. The first is that you are good to agree to this arrangement. That's really very good. And the second is that you told this so well that I, way up here in the boonies, am feeling wistful about a room I've never even seen. Sigh. (Perhaps it'll give me some empathy for the days I find John feeling sad for what he has left behind.) Do let us know how it all works out...

Lorrie said...

Well, this is an apt post for me today. It's the third Monday in our new home. The first move without family and it's hard.

I'm struggling with the colours of this house and little by little they will be changed but in the meantime I need to stick to my studies and can't paint everything right away. I just did a post on my blog about this.

Change is rarely comfortable. One day, change will not be the norm. I'm thankful for my Lord who never changes!

. said...

Today is my first time to see your blog (glad I found it, its beautiful and its very inspirational)... I can relate to your studio post, Im still waiting to get my walls up (on going project). I want to get it done yesterday, but now worried that when its finally done I will have to say g-bye to it (we might move next summer). I hope you will really enjoy your new space, but I know the feeling, its exciting and hard all at the same time. But I hope you'll enjoy it to the fullest : )

cheers

Mari

Sharon said...

What a wondeful post. I have been going through the same thing and yes it will all be ok. Change can be good.

Marge said...

Awwww, what a lovely post! You will soon be settled and content in your new creative space, I promise! :)

Dorthe said...

Sandy,
I wish you and your husbond all kind of blessings with your new ,working, life.
Hugs,Dorthe

MISS PEACH ~(^.^)~ said...

Dearest Sandy...thank you for your kind comment to mine:)
But I think you even more for this inspiring post here today at your cottage...your blend of anxious feelings and harmonious outcome are what I needed to read today. That your husband is special is something you already know...how wonderful to live a life filled with understanding each others thoughts and deep needs.
I am on the verge of recarpeting this cozy cottage of mine and have been for 19 years....I am afraid of the leap but thank you for the comfort of knowing you jumped!
Peaceful hugs from the cozy cottage

The Feathered Nest said...

Oh Sandy, you are so PRECIOUS!!!! I totally understand your situation!!!! With five sons, and some returning home from time to time (which I love that they feel welcome to do if need be) you do have to remain flexible to change and change I have. My new guest room will soon be my second to oldest's room as he needs a place to land for awhile and so it goes, no big. You will make this space INCREDIBLE you know ~ you will be able to place things where they might not have been so conveniently located in the other space...and you best get busy because I can't wait to see it on Where Bloggers Create!!! hugs and love, Dawn

Flower said...

It looks at if you will have another wonderful space to "feather!" I can't wait to see it!

Lori said...

what a cute post Miss Sandy...if you ever are missing your old studio again...just remember how lucky you are to have your own little {or big} creative space...some of us are not so lucky...your new space looks wonderful...lots of room...and the lighting looks fabulous too...have fun creating in there...and doing what you do best...

Barbara H. said...

You have a very sweet and thoughtful husband. For me change usually brings fear and unsettledness and discontent, but then changes into excitement mingled with grief (though that seems maybe a tad too strong a word) that then melts into wistfulness. Hopefully you'll find much to love about your new space and will feel at home in there soon.

kathy said...

Sandy , as others have said - a sweet reminder of past things -- but a wonderful beginning of what will be -- You will create many fun memories with friends -- and as your blog is always so welcoming -- so will your studio be -- and wonderful creations of the heart will come forth --t o bless us all -- Blessings -Kathy - ga ♥

Diane said...

So many changes and surprises, Sandy...especially the new red walls in the old studio/new office! Wow!

Moving on...to what I am sure will be serendipity! Because...students will be arriving! A pleasant change!
And you have SO much to offer. You will be blessed, I am 100% sure!

Blessings in your new space.
Diane

TinyBear said...

oh Miss Sandy - I totally understand - what a great post.
I have it exactly the same way with changes. I´m sure everything will be fine and you´re gonna love your new room.
Sending lots of hugs your way
xo Tina

Julie Ann said...

Oooh, Sandy. Change is scary!! Even terrifying sometimes. You're going to get through it though!! Especially with such a supportive husband :) And all of us in Blogland :) *Hugs*

tarnishedandtattered.blogsot.com said...

Sandy,
I know this is an older post, but I'm going through your whole blog LOL~ I love this post. My studio is in what should be our dining room. I'm smack in the middle of everything, which is difficult for obvious reasons, but also kind of good because I can look after my 4 year olds, they can do damage if left unattended LOL. I would be in heaven if I had a whole room just for me to create in. And how wonderful to do classes also. I'm careful what I long for, I know before I know it they'll be off to collage & I'll have those quiet, empty, rooms.
Can't wait for the new reveal. Lisa

Cami @ Creating Myself said...

Oh Sandy, I guess I've always been so entranced by your creations that I never noticed what an awesome writer you are! Your post put me in the middle of your studio angst as deftly as Stephen King immerses me in his world. GREAT job!

Really eager to see how the new space looks & to hear the end of the story!

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