Allan Bruce Zee, photographer
I am not very good a waiting. I tend to be a bit on the impatient side. This is probably one time in my life that I have settled into waiting mode without anxiety or impatience but utter and total peace, just like the painting above conveys. Unusual. I only have one explanation for it, the power of prayer covering me and quieting my emotions. This waiting for an expected end is odd. You know it is coming only not when or at what hour. You jump when the phone rings, you sleep lightly, even dreaming is put on hold as you maintain a semi~wakeful state, listening. I wonder if I will feel her departure these many miles away?
The photographer states that this is a difficult image to print, with many different exposures to bring out the different areas of the image in order to keep the eye moving through the photograph. The picture of my beloved grandmother dying is also a difficult image to print, many different exposures of the depth and light that is her life keep my minds eye moving through different scenes that make up her life album. Her life is truly about light and reflecting "the light" ~ which is Christ.
My family and I are waiting for the appointed hour of my grandmothers departure from the body that is failing moment by moment. She should have already been gone, had the hospital followed her wishes, she would have gently quit breathing and slipped away quietly. Now she seizes and rasps emanate in the form of breaths. They tell us there is no hope, too much damage to her brain and her body systems are shutting down ever so slowly. They should have let her go, we should let her go, but, like the physicians who swear an oath to save lives, we too want to fight letting go. So we sit, like the chairs in the painting, waiting patiently, for there is nothing more we can do save pray for release. We have done our best, so we wait the result in peace.