Sunday, February 17, 2008

We Interrupt This Blog For Medical Testing.....

Just a little note to let you know that I'll be away from the computer for a couple of days. I am getting ready for my big appointment on Tuesday and rumor has it that I may be sent striaight to another appoiontment where a rather nasty and painful procedure may take place which may require an overnight stay in plush accomidations where the room service includes gourmet cuisine fresh from the microwave delivered to your room and a staff who are so concerned about your well-being that they take your temperature and blood pressure on a regular basis. If you are just too tired to swallow they will fill you up with fluids through an iv. Plus, they care about each and every guest so much they will wake you at all hours just to see if you are OK. The rooms come with cable tv and plastic coated mattress adjustable beds and everything! Whoohoo! Wanna come with?

Seriously, this is the appointment where they think I am 101 years old. I am really hoping to have fun with this. It is unknown if I will have to have the above mentioned test done or not, they just told me I need to be prepared just in case. I have had two other appointments one with good results ruling out one possibiliy and the other confirming that I need to see this specialist, so I still know nothing.

Well, I can tell you one thing there is nothing wrong with and that is my ability to scream. For some reason I have been as jumpy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs! I went on a simple errand, only five things on my list, easy, that is until I scared a poor cart collector to death, embarrased us both, and drew stares, parking lot security, and became the subject of some cell phone photos in the process.

I went to one of our local super stores to pick up a few items and had myself another little adveture. First item on the list is a four pack of facial tissue. I get to the isle and the brand I want is sold out save one lonely package all the way at the back of these really deep shelves. Try as I might my short arms would not reach so I thought I'd just duck in and retreive them quickly and no one would be the wiser, wrong! I dive in up to my waist, grab the package and shimmy back out quickly only to be met by the grinning face of a little old lady who quipped, "Did you get the orange juice?", refering to the commercial. I reddened and laughed and said they were fresh out but they gave me these instead, holding up the tissues.

Next I need some vanilla extract. I get to the isle and there is only one bottle left, it's on the top shelf. I have to stand back across the isle to see it. I am frustrated becasue I can't reach it. I glimpse around and no one is looking so I climb up the shelves, grab it, and hop back down only to be facing the same grinning little lady who says, "Did you get it this time?" "Uh, no, just this." I said as I held up the vanilla.

OK, on to the dog food isle. First I hoist and wrestle a fifty pound bag of dog food for our two big outside dogs into the buggy. Then I find the brand I want for our inside dog and can you believe this, it too is the last one on the second shelf from the top all the way at the back! I looked around for a store clerk and couldn't find a single soul so I decided I just retrieve it myself. I didn't see anyone looking so I hopped up into the shelf and scooted in grabbing the bag of food and started to scoot back out when something caught my clothing and I got stuck. A large button on my jacket had slid between the two by four slats on the shelving and was wedged in really tight.

I have a sudden vision of a scene from Winnie the Pooh where he visits rabbits house, eats too much honey and gets stuck on his way out. Rabbit plops a shelf across his bent legs, draws a face on his rear and ties two sticks on to look like antlers. I put my forehead down on the wood and began to shake with uncontrollable laughter wondering if the security camera guy was watching or if the old lady stalker was living vicariously through my expolits. I fianlly managed to get one arm out of my jacket and slid out with dog food in tow. I rescued my self and my jacket with button still intact, my pride not so much. I jetted off that isle noting that I didn't see any spectators.
I managed to get a whole gallon of milk without any problems and headed to the check out. I am minding my own business, even remembering where I had parked my car this time, when I start to unload my purchases into my trunk. I turned from putting in the smaller items to hoist the fifty pound bag of dog food out of the buggy and when I did, right behind me hovering over over me was a huge man. I screamed bloody murder which translated into, "Back off buddy, your in my personal space!" He threw up his hands and I screamed again thinking I was about to be shoved into my trunk! He took a step and I screamed again. He kept trying to shush me and I wasn't having any of it. The third scream died on my lips when I saw the logo on his shirt and looked up into his face and recognized him for the very sweet and helpful cart collector that he was.

He was trying to explain that he was only going to help me out by lifting the large heavy bag into my tunk for me when the parking lot security arrived. He squinted at me and I thought uh oh, we have met before! I was at least ten shades of red and falling all over myself apologizing to the poor man and trying to explain that he had startled me and I had not heard him walk up behind me. By this time we had drawn a crowd and some one even snapped a cell phone photo! I think I will make the National Enquirer yet! We finally got it all worked out. Now I will have to go all the way across town to shop at an identical super store where no one knows me, yet.

Anyway, I hope you all have a good week and I'll probalby post again on Wednesday or so.

Blessings,
Miss Sandy

23 comments:

Fete et Fleur said...

Miss Sandy,
You make me laugh!! I will praying for this doctor's visit to go well.
Blessings and Hugs!
Nancy

Gypsy Mermaid said...

HAHAHA that was priceless! great story! you and I should never go shopping together we would end up with no buttons, 2 stalkers, and 2 strange men coming at us! Hope next time is better! Keeping ya in my thoughts and prayers for the doctor visit! hugs!

Toodles-
sarah

Cindy Is Crafty said...

Miss Sandy,
May I suggest the following:
-delivery?
-apersonal shopper?
-letting the hubby or daughter get it for you?

I believe that swithcing stores is in order. Do you feel now that when you enter they are watching you? I bet store security really enjoys your trips!

Good luck with the tests!

The Feathered Nest said...

I pray your testing goes smoothly and quickly!! All that just gives me the heebie jeebies. We'll miss you, Sandy...'til Wednesday ~ xxoo, Dawn

Lovella said...

I popped on over from Judy' and Vee's blog and enjoyed my visit ..
all the best with the tests .. I do hope you are treated with the most tender care.

MrsJoeB said...

Ms Sandy-I hope your test went well. I had to go through those uncomfortable test this past week. My results were better than they could have been but I have been told to lay off the caffiene. Bummer! But Praise God!! I can do that! Have a great week!
In His Graces~Pamela

Charm & Grace said...

Miss Sandy,

Your humor is so refreshing, even more so considering all that you're going through. I am sure that same humor will get you through any possible tough spots over the next few days. Thanks for giving me a good belly laugh with your grocery store exploits!

Hugs and prayers for a great report from the dr.,

Christi
Charm & Grace

Kathy at Shocking Pink Thread said...

Dear Sandy, thank you for stopping by for a visit at my blog. Now that I have come by to see you, I will return again and again! Grocery shopping can be quite an adventure! I will pray that your doctor's appointment goes quickly and painlessly. Your blog is delightful! I can't wait to read more!

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

Hahahahahahahaha...what a wonderful day you had! Everything is fair game for a writer so you should go back and thank that dear man. Oh my!

(I've been known to do some climbing myself...I can dangle off a freezer case like nobody's business. I just pray that it doesn't fall over on top of me and continue fetching.)

You'll be very much in my thoughts and prayers as you head off for tests. I'll even be so bold as to pray that you don't need that nasty old test.

Take care and hurry back!

Becky K. said...

Hoping that all goes very well for you in the medical department.

Thanks for the belly laugh this morning. Oh my goodness! Tooooo funny!

Becky K.

Pinkie Denise said...

Oh, Miss Sandy,
your too funny, Hope all goes well and you'll be back soon. Pinkie Denise

VINTAGE GIRL AT HEART said...

Quite an adventure!!!!
Best wishes on your test!!
Looking forward to seeing you blogging again soon!!!

Lori said...

oh Miss Sandy, thanks for the laughs!!! your super store mis~haps sound just like something that would happen to me:)

good luck with your tests, i will kee p you in my thoughts and prayers!!!

Kentucky Bound said...

I hope all goes well with your testing.

As for the rest of your entry today . . . all I can say is THANK YOU! I was feeling quite sorry for myself today - nothing that a good old fashioned belly laugh wouldn't cure - and the descriptions of your misadventures provided me with that.

BeachysCapeCodCupboard said...

Oh my how you had me laughing! What a delightful read your shopping story was. I hope all goes well at your doctor's visit!!!

Kari & Kijsa said...

We know you are headed to the doctor (hope everything goes well & you have a bit-o-fun!!)...but anted to pass along the secret...

Shhhh! You are invited to a SURPRISE BLOGGY BIRTHDAY PARTY for kari this Wednesday, Feb 20.
She is turning 40!!!

Stop by the party on Wednesday to mingle a bit, say hi to the birthday girl, enjoy a bite of cake, and check out the party favor giveaway!

blessings,
kijsa

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

Yes, Miss Sandy, the same sun shining down on you is shining down on me.

Breathe deeply today! You're in my prayers...I am praying right now!

MrsProverbs31 said...

I want to say I have the answer to your jumpiness, but that would be too way out of my league. Wow!

Praying for you!

Andylynne said...

Maybe you should have stayed at the beach:) It sounds a tad bit safer. I have to admit even your adventures in shopping sound good when you write it LOL. I do believe the cart guy will be fine, the store is lucky you shop there when they barley cary anything in stock LOL. Another store might actully have the stuff on the shelf where you can get to it :)

As for your tests, I know the Lord will be with you and your friends will support you in prayer. I will also lift you up in your medical journey.

The Feathered Nest said...

Dear sweet Sandy, Thank you so very much about your kind words about my new little store. I am loving how easy it was to set up too!

And Sandy. I received a most precious parcel in the mail today!!! OMGoodness!!! Sandy, you did too much, you sweetheart! Absolutely breathtaking treasures. I've taken tons of photos and will be posting about your generosity very soon and now with these beautiful supplies I will be able to create a wonderful assemblage! Thank you, thank you dear Sandy, you are so very thoughtful, xxoo, Dawn

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

Miss Sandy, happy to see you this morning...hope you're planning a post to relieve our collective curiosity.

The Feathered Nest said...

Hi sweet Sandy, I posted about my beautiful beach treasures...stop by when you have time to take a look! Thank you again, xxoo, Dawn

Catherine Holman said...

Oh, Sandy, you are just way too funny! My kind of gal.

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