Another Christ"miss" Adventure.....

Now I have mentioned before that I can be a little absent minded. My mama always said, "Bound for you, if your head wasn't screwed on you'd forget it!" This was always said in frustration because I was always forgetting or misplacing something, usually something important, then a search would ensue for the missing item. Well that is exactly what happened to me a couple of years ago at about this time.

I was raised as a proper Southern Belle, you never, ever, ever left the house without looking your best. So, this being ingrained in me from a very early age.....

(Note the spiffy parasol purse,no true Southern Belle would be without one. Decked out in black patten leather shoes, white gloves, ruffled hat, and wool over coat, and of course the ever present lace and ruffles on dress and socks! )
I got ready to go into town to do some Christmas shopping. I made my list, checked it twice, I plotted my route, planned to stick to my budget, get in, get out, and get home in one fell swoop. Off I merrily tripped to one of those super stores with list in hand, smile on face, and a carol floating in my head. I got through the store with no mishaps, with only the items on my list, budget still in tact, ready to head to my next destination. I even managed to experience a mini miracle, no one was in line in lane number 3 but me!

I happily grabbed my packages and trotted out the big double sliding doors and headed down the sidewalk toward my car......

I was in my own little world thinking that this may be a really great day if all my stops went this well as I approach the parking area. I am going along at a pretty fast clip when I stopped mid stride, my jaw and my packages dropped at the same time my astonished eyes took in the scene before me. Right where I left my car was an empty parking space! I was really confused and befuddled for a moment, where was my car?

I whipped around and scanned the lot for the security patrol, got honked at by an impatient driver and motioned to get out of the way as I was standing in the middle of the driving lane, and lost one of my shoes in my scurry to keep from getting run over. I was fine, my shoe got ran over! All I could think about was that my car had been stolen. I retrieved my smashed shoe and stood there like My Son John, one shoe off and one shoe on, thinking that I must surely be mistaken. Why would someone steal my car? OK, it was a cool car, but why mine out of all the hundreds of cars in lot?

I must have looked kind of pitiful and very un-belle like standing there with my mouth gaping open, packages scattered at my feet, one shoe in my hand, and eyes as big as saucers staring at an empty parking space because a lady in an SUV parked next to the empty space got out and came to see if she could be of assistance. I stammered that my car had been stolen.

She said we'd better report it and was I sure this is where I had parked. I kind of got a bit indignant and said it most certainly was. I saw the parking lot security patrolman heading our way one isle over. I thanked her for her offer but I'd just cut across the isle and flag down security and get it reported. I picked up my packages and wobbled diagonally through the parked cars, intent on my destination, waving my packages and calling out to get his attention (and that of every by passer in the lot!) and irritated that my perfect day had gone south, when I got another shock. Right there in front of me was my car! I whipped back around looking forlorn and confused from one isle to the other, ( I probably looked like I watching a tennis match my head swiveled back and forth so many times!), and sure enough it was just as my mama always said, "If it wasn't attached, I'd loose it!"

By this time I had gathered an audience, as Miss SUV had told everyone who passed that my car had been stolen and when I whipped back around I noticed I had a little entourage trooping after me, just glad there was not a paparazzi in the bunch!.....

(OK, so the guy in the corner has a camera, I can just see it now, film at 11:00 - Ditzy Belle! Have we got a story to tell.....) They are all staring, murmuring, and pointing. I am wobbling, waving, and then wavering as to what I should do next when security stops. He asks if he can help me and I grope for an answer, I stammer, "Uh, Um, Uh, I just wanted to...... wish you a Merry Christmas!" I blurted out as I smiled my sweetest most innocent smile. He looked at me like I was one fruit shy of a cake, shook his head, and drove away.

Miss SUV said, "Aren't you going to report your car?" Redder than Rudolph's nose I sheepishly reply, "No," pointing at my car, " I found it, I forgot where I parked," My whole little troop of on lookers laughed as Miss SUV came over and gave me hug and said, "Don't worry about it shug-ah, I've done it before myself." The crowd dispersed with murmuring comments as I packed my trunk full of purchases and did what every good Southern Belle does, I went into Miss Scarlett mode. I straightened myself as well as I was able to on one shoe, lifted my head in that southern proud sort of way, even though I was utterly dying of embarrassment, and I thought to myself, "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow." I got into my car and drove straight home, retrieved another pair of shoes, wasn't thinking clearly at the time so I missed out on a shoe shopping opportunity, and headed back to town. This time EVERY time I got out of the car I studied the area to make sure I KNEW where I was parked.

I am sad to say that with me history is bound to repeat itself. Just last week I used one of those big red concrete balls in front of a certain store as a landmark as the isles are not numbered, did you know that there is more than one of those big red balls in front of the store, in fact there is a whole row of them?

Christmas Laughter,

Miss Sandy

P.S. If you missed out on the first two adventures, you can read them here and here.