Miss Sandy's Chris"Miss" Adventures, Part 2.....

One of my favorite things to do around Christmas time is to bake and decorate cookies. My children loved this activity and we always tried to do this the day after they were out of school for Christmas vacation. On the night before their vacation break began we would check over our cookie making supplies and see if anything was needed. My darling daughter declared that there were just not enough "prinkles" to suit her sugar lovin', sparkly sprinkler-self and could I please get some more. She wanted the shiny round silver ones, lots of crunchy red and green sugar ones, the teeny tiny dot ones in all the rainbow colors, and could we please have some chocolate ones too? I assured her that we would indeed have plenty of sprinkles. (I never should have said that!) The next morning as I drove my children to school the self-proclaimed Sprinkle Queen gave me royal orders not to forget the sprinkles, "Or else, off with your head!" I'm thinking, "OK, no more Alice in Wonderland for her. I can see which character she is identifying with!"

I see them off the their classes and then I am headed back home to get some last minute wrapping and cleaning done. I should have gone to the store right then but I thought I'd do that on the way back to town to pick them up. I didn't give it another thought and went home. The day seemed to fly by and I happened to glance up at the clock and realized that if I were going to stop at the store on my way to the school that I'd better leave right then. I grabbed my purse and keys and zipped out the door. Well, you know when you are in a hurry you are bound to be slowed down? That is just what happened. We live outside city limits in a semi-rural area where there is farm land and many in our area raise cattle, both of which necessitate the use of tractors.

I rounded a curve on a double yellow lined two lane road only to encounter a wizened little straw hatted gentleman hunkered down in his coat and I swear he had to have been asleep. The tractor was geared so low that it barely crept along. I was sorely tempted to pass him but this road is well patrolled and as sure as I did I'd encounter Billy Bob or Bubba and probably be the most excitement either one had seen all day and they'd make a grand show of giving this little darlin' (his words, not mine!) here a big fat ticket for passing on a double "yeller" (his word, not mine) line. I ended up gritting my teeth and breathing out a prayer of patience. Someday I was going to be old and slow and some young whipper snapper was gonna' wanna' run over me in their big red SUV if I was not careful. Finally, miracle of miracles, he turned off and I actually got up to the speed limit for about all of ten seconds.

Two large dogs were playing tag in a yard when they darted into the road. I slowed down and blew my horn which had no effect on the rollicking pair. I rolled down my window and yelled at them, blew my horn some more, and they stopped.....in the middle of my lane! I wanted to go around but I just knew Billy Bob or his brother Bubba were lurking about and this time it'd be a ticket for driving on the wrong side of the road, passing on a double "yeller" line (even if it was only dogs I was passing!), and reckless endangerment of an animal! Finally after a few false stops and starts I got past the dueling duo and was on my way once again. By this time I was getting anxious and mentally calculating if I still had enough time. I decided I did and I plotted out my route through the store. I only need a few items, milk, bread, fruit snacks, and cookie sprinkles. Luckily the store I was going to had the milk, bread, and fruit snacks all on the same isle and then I could head over to the sprinkles and then to the check out stand. I just hoped and prayed it was not senior day or double coupon day both of which would slow me down. Again, I had to pray and remind myself that I too would be old and slow one day and on a fixed income pinching pennies and I too would need those double coupon days! I finally arrived at the store with ten minutes until pickup time. I was still in a safe time zone IF all went well in the store.

I jogged into the store, grabbed a buggy, plopped my purse into the baby seat, and barreled forward, hooking a sharp right to the far end of the store and making a quick left while simultaneously grabbing two boxes of fruit snacks without missing a beat. I hit the end of the isle and got the milk, swinging around the other end headed for the bread. That is when I thought I got a miracle. What to my wondering eyes should appear but a buggy full of sprinkles - yeah! Christmas cheer! I got the bread and pulled my buggy out of the narrow isle to let another patron go by and began to quickly dig through the buggy full of sprinkles for the requested ones. This is one time I wanted to obey the command of the Sprinkle Queen and give her hearts desire. I got what I needed and was just about to to go to the checkout counter when I got distracted as another display caught my eye and it triggered my memory that I did need something else, orange juice. "No problem", I think," I'll go back down the isle where the milk is located and grab the juice and then I'm home free!" I check the time, "Yikes! I've gotta get out of here!", I think to myself.

I grab the buggy and practically sprint to the checkout counter, looking at the huge clock over the customer service area the whole time I am unloading the buggy as quickly as I can while my brain is totally focused on time, how many stop lights there are between the store and the school, and will I make it on time. I'm praying again, "Oh Lord, please don't let me hit any red ones." I am brought out of my little revelry by the checkout clerk as she clears her throat and says, "Ma'am if you don't mind my askin', exactly WHAT are you going to do with ALL these sprinkles?" I looked at her like she was crazy and I'm thinking, "Well, I'm gonna bake cookies, what else?" And then I looked at the conveyor belt, the bag boy, the checker, what I held in my hand, and then down to the buggy. I wish I could have seen the shock that must have registered on my face! Rolling down the belt were BOTTLES of sprinkles, the bag boy was sacking BOTTLES of sprinkles, the checker was holding a BOTTLE of sprinkles, and the buggy I was unloading was FULL of BOTTLES of sprinkles. When I came back with the juice I'd been in such a hurry that I'd plopped it on top of the buggy which was being used to display the sprinkles! I sort of gurgled and stammered and said, "This is NOT my buggy!" I realized that my buggy was still where I left it. Not only was my buggy still where I left it but so was my purse! I hastily told her to remove the charges for all those sprinkles and I'd be right back. With burning cheeks I pushed the sprinkle buggy back, all the time wondering if I would even have a purse when I got back to where I had left it. Much to my relief there sat my buggy calmly waiting for me to claim it and my purse and all its contents were there also.

Shame faced and sheepishly I returned to the checkout counter and unloaded my meager fare with the correct amount of sprinkles, one bottle of red and one bottle of green sugar crunchy sprinkles, one bottle of shiny round silver ones, one bottle of teeny tiny dots in rainbow colors, and one bottle of chocolate ones. The clerk and the bag boy straightened up and tried to contain their laughter at the crazy sprinkle lady. I ended up only being a few minutes late in picking up my children and I earned a reputation and the nickname of "Sprinkle Lady" at that store.

How, you say, can you push an entire buggy load of sprinkles and unload them in rapid succession without noticing what you are doing? Well, you have to be Miss Sandy and then you would know that I could give the Absent Minded Professor a real run for his money! For quite a few years after this happened I would receive bottles of sprinkles in my stocking, cookies with sprinkles on them were given to me, and another Christmas legend in our family was born.

Christmas Laughter,

Miss Sandy

P. S. May your holiday be filled with sprinkles of laughter, fun, and good cheer!