Saturday, October 11, 2008

What Not To Wear...

"The only rule is don't be boring and dress cute wherever you go. Life is too short to blend in."

~Paris Hilton~
Did you ever have one of those days when you felt the cute factor was on your side? You know, when you felt good about yourself and what you were wearing? Well, I had one of those days this week, which is a rare occasion for me. I am pretty much a fashion disaster. I quickly confess that I avoid malls at all costs and for me clothes shopping is akin to pulling teeth without the pain killer. I consider it a necessary evil.

Thursday morning found me in need of a trip to Hobby Lobby for more supplies for the booth handy hubby and I were building for a company function. I was sorely tempted to stuff my hair up into a ball cap, wear large sunglasses, grab some jeans and a t-shirt, and snake me feet into some old sneakers. Under the cover of my disguise I could covertly slip in and slip out with the four needed items. I knew my plan would never work because it has been ingrained in me that your never leave the house unless you look your best. My mama dressed up go to the mailbox and it was only three steps from the front door!

Heaving a big sigh I went through the get ready routine. Any old barn looks better with a new coat of paint so I got out my pots of paint and put on my face. Next was to try and tame my unruly hair. Being as it did not want to cooperate I swooped it all up into an up do that was a little too up done! Since I have been growing my hair out it was a little too bouffant but I figured what the hey, I live in the South and big hair is not an uncommon sight so why not go with the flow.

I marched myself to the closet like a general going into battle, flung open the doors and looked at the rows of clothes like viewing the troops at inspection. With a critical eye I spied a candidate for my mission. I could hear Stacy and Clinton murmuring their approval in the background, "Good choice, a mid-rise jean with a wider leg to balance her out and a dark wash which will lengthen her leg."
I am feeling confident as I select a top. "Great choice for her! The cut of the top is very figure flattering, the colors are perfect for her skin tones, and I really like that she is layering it over that jewel toned cami, it makes the outfit pop." So far so good!After pressing my apparel I am dressed and must select shoes. I hear Stacy in my head, "It is just as easy to put on a cute shoe as it is to put on a ratty old sneaker!" Sigh, she is right so I slip on a cute little ballet flat and feel that for a walking fashion fauxpau I am doing pretty good. I march on to the accessories. Not too much with this casual outfit so I slip on a fun ring and select a pair of dangling earrings that I bought specifically for the selected top. I don my jewelry with nary a look in the mirror and out the door I flew.Sure enough, I walk in the door and there are my old friends, Diane and Jerry, standing in line at the checkout counter. I am pleased as punch to see them and grateful that Stacy and Clinton did not let me leave the house as I had first intended. Diane and I hug and we stand chatting but I get the uncomfortable feeling that she is looking at me funny. She glances quickly up and down me and tries to keep her eyes on my face but I notice they keep veering to my right. I think she must be glancing over my shoulder a the lovely display of fall items on sale although I do not understand her puzzled look. I dismiss it as we part and get what I need and head to the line of my favorite clerk. She looks up at me and breaks into a huge grin and I think she is happy to see me but wonder as a giggle escapes. She too is looking to my right and I casually turn my head and take a sneak peek at my shoulder wondering what is up. Seeing nothing amiss I continue to chat and pay for my purchases. I am still feeling like a fashion success as I arrive back home, that is until I looked in the mirror while removing my earrings!

I have a habit of tossing my jewelry into a teacup on my dresser when I remove it. When the cup starts getting full, I empty it and put it back where belongs. Sometimes other items get tossed in there to like loose change or a safety pin, etc. and sometimes things get tangled together. Evidently this was the case with my right earring. At the point of its dainty dangle was lodged the clip end of a safety pin! I had trotted all over town with a big ol' open safety pin dangling just above my right shoulder, hence the strange looks!
I burst into laughter thinking how I had totally ruined the cute factor feeling as Stacy and Clinton declare me hopeless, "WHAT was she thinking? Does the girl not own a mirror? Has she never heard of a mirror check? We really have our work cut out here!" "Safety pins should NEVER be a fashion accessory!" I am off to watch another episode of What Not to Wear as I seem to have failed the accessorizing advice portion of the show, "Don't over accessorize! Remember, look in the mirror and remove one item." Maybe I should have removed the ring?

Miss Sandy


Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

I love Clinton and Stacy and that top is VERY cute!

I am on post #99 so stay tuned. :)

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

Hahahahaha...oh my! That's the funniest thing I've read since reading Sandi's story about her egg tossing feuding grandparents at Holding Patterns.

Have you given your friends a call to chastise them for not saying anything? :D

Anonymous said...

Cute choices especially those shoes!
You forgot your handbag tho...

hoganfe handmade
handbag originals

Susie said...

Oh, that is so funny! Don't you hate it when people stare at you or something on you and you can't figure out what they are looking at?

I love to watch What not to wear. That is a great show!

Catherine Holman said...

Sandy, You are cracking me up here! I think I would have quietly told you about the safety pin. What are husbands for too! Love the story!

My Pink & Cream Cottage said...

Hi Sand,
Have just found you & boy I just cannot stop laughing, really loved this write up of yours. I will be returning for more.

Enjoy your weekend

Lyn xoxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Tooo funny! That is so something that would happen to me! But, LOVED the outfit :).

Judy said...

That is too funny! But your outfit looked what's one little glitch?

Abbie said...

Ha! lol!! I thought I was the only one who did things like that! Thank you Sandy for the laughs. I needed them desperately!
Hope your weekend was fabulous!
hehehehe.. still giggling.. :)

Cindy Is Crafty said...

Perhaps you will start a new trend in your little town?? LOL!

Flower said...

Thanks for a good laugh!!! We all do that kind of thing and it sure helps to laugh!!
I love my baseball hat..the new one, that is! :)

Ragamuffin Gal said...

Sandy, I am still laughing. I have done similar things. You writing of it is absolutely priceless. Thanks for not being perfect it surely help the rest of us feel better! Love and Blessings, Katie

KimberlyRyanDesigns said...

OMG! what a funny story, the earrings , that is priceless, I was picturing the whole thing! thanks for sharing that :) Hugs, Kimberly

Pam said...

Hahaha- you have me laughing out loud. AND, the fact that the safety pin was OPEN - I'm surprised it didn't poke you at some point during your outing!! Thanks for sharing the fun with us.

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