BACK BURNER DREAMS...

To Put on the Back Burner: put aside for the time being, as a subject that is not of immediate concern but that may be activated later; postponed; a condition of low priority or temporary deferment

 "JOY" Mixed Media Statement Necklace

It is with a heavy heart that I bid you, my dear blog friends, a temporary good bye.  I have put this post off for far too long in the hopes that circumstances would change and allow me to actively participate in the amazing creative community that has given me so much support and confidence to pursue some of my most cherished dreams.  For now, those dreams have been pushed to the back burner of life where they can continue to simmer until it is time to pull them forward and bring them to a full bodied boil where their exquisite aroma can be savored and shared once again.

"HOPE" Mixed Media Statement Necklace

My mother's condition is steadily declining and I am needed to participate more fully in her care plans.  My daughters extended maternity leave is over and she has returned to work leaving her precious little one in my care full time.  Between parenting for my parent, co-parenting with my daughter and her husband while they work, maintaining home and family obligations my days rush by at a dizzy pace.  I currently can't find the energy or time to be in studio or at my writing desk.

"WISH" Mixed Media Wrap Bracelet

I expect as I get adapted to these sudden changes in life and find a new rhythm and order to my days that I will be able to pick up where I left off and return here refreshed and rejuvenated with a new creative energy.  Maintaining an online presence is of very low priority at the moment so I have decided to take an extended break until after the first of the New Year.  Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your love and support.

Many Blessings,

Sandy  

The photos in this post are of the last three pieces to emerge from my studio, I wish you all hope and joy!

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DISCOMBOBULATED....

Discombobulated:  to throw into a state of confusion; having ones composure disturbed

If I were asked to define my current state of mind, life, or anything else at the moment discombobulated would be my choice description.  

True story...

I recently went to buy some ink cartridge refills for my printer from a local office supply store.  The clerk pulled the ink, rang it up, and I was good to go.  The next day I discovered that one of the cartridges was wrong so I ran back to the store to exchange it.  On this particular morning I had a lot of events from strange to laughable unfold that left me slightly off kilter.  I arrive at the store to find a bored collage age clerk lounging on the register.  When he asked me if he could help me my brain went left and tongue went right and all that came out was an incoherent babble.  It took me a minute to string my words together and explain that I wanted to exchange to the cartridge.

(the start of an art journal)

The exchange was made and a request for my debit card to be swiped for the refund ensued and I was trying to swipe my store rewards card and it was just down hill from there.  Red faced I threw up my hands and exclaimed, "I have no idea why I am so discombobulated today!"  The clerk looks at me and says, "Dude!  Is that like really a word?  Like seriously?" to which I answer, "Totally, Google it."  He whips out his cell phone and asks me how to spell it, which I oblige.  He rattles off the definition to me and confirms that I used the word in the correct context.  Then he says,"I was thinking to myself,  Dude! this lady just made up the coolest word ever!  Do you mind if I use it?"  I reply, "Be my guest."  He made my day by thinking I was actually smart enough to come up with a cool word and I made his by increasing his vocabulary.

(the start of a new art journal)

The very worst part of being discombobulated is that I can't seem to pay attention long enough finish anything!  I just can't seem to find my footing and it is frustrating.   I keep starting and stopping things not quite settling into any one thing or seeing it through.  A little studio discombobulation, you may recognize some of these tidbits from previous posts, unfinished jewelry...

more unfinished jewelry...

even more unfinished jewelry...

oh and one more piece of unfinished jewelry (8 unfinished designs in total and a new sketch rattling around in my head)...

then there is that whole handmade fabric bead thing I am obsessed with lately, these just need to be wired and beaded...

hand painted canvas ready to turn into wearable cuffs...

my scrap jar is overflowing, more beads and backgrounds to be made...

a book to be finished and bound for the newest grand...

and as if that was not enough I have been dabbling in a little bit of metalsmithing...

My lofty goal this week is actually finish at least ONE thing pictured above!

I am starting to think I am my own problem, so many supplies, so many techniques, so many ideas, it is enough to leave one discombobulated!

Which thing above intrigues you enough that you would like to see it complete?

Blessings,

Sandy

ALL WIRED UP...

 Tied, bound, twisted, wrapped, wired...

Handmade beads...

Found stones...

Glass beads, all wired up...

 I am lightly dipping my toe back into the creative pond by learning some wire techniques.  The plan is to make some pendants to go on these beaded necklace chains and use the found stones and handmade beads in combination for a future project.  It feels like a little swish of magic...

 To be creatively connected to you all again!

I would love to hear what you have been working on.

I hope you all enjoy a beauty filled weekend!

blessings,

Sandy

M. I. A. (Maybe I Am or Mostly I Am)...

Jeremiah 6:16

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁶ This is what the Lord says:

“Stand at the crossroads and look;

    ask for the ancient paths,

ask where the good way is, and walk in it,

    and you will find rest for your souls."

 

M. I. A. generally stands for "missing in action" or as defined by the Urban Dictionary, "one person who usually hangs out with a crowd is not there", while both of those statements apply to my lack of presence and participation here in the land of blog I am taking liberties with redefining M. I. A. to sum up my recent activities and somewhat explain my absence.

Maybe I Am...strolling along a distant shore...

  collecting mermaid trinkets...

  and wishing I could fly or sail away from present circumstances...

 

or  Maybe I Am...rambling along a lily lined country lane...

picking posies of Blackeyed Susans...

  and Queen Anne's Lace...

while sorting out the fuzzy details of this summer...

which seem to be like some over bright, larger than life, technicolor dream that has been brought into sharp focus with its contrast to reality...

or Maybe I Am...perched on the edge of taking flight...

 spreading my wings towards new horizons not of my own choosing...

 wondering what dizzying heights of emotion and change are in store for this next leg of the journey...

Mostly I Am...steeped in the heightened awareness of the delicate fragility of life as we know it moment by moment, its rare exquisite beauty...

 how swiftly it changes from new and fresh, tender and young, ripe and crisp with possibilities...

to aged and life worn,  yet wiser and more wonderful, despite its tattered appearance ...

Mostly I Am...trying as best as I am able to maintain a sense of normalcy, rhythm, and routine in escaping on occasion to my happy artful place...

taking even the smallest leftover tidbit of time that I can find to reflect on the things that delight and entice me, luxuriating in the tender healing beauty of the natural world that surrounds me...

Mostly I Am...trying to come to terms with what I once knew and what currently is as I look into the blurred reflection of her eyes...

 trying to find that one gossamer sprig of who she was amid the tangled bramble of the mind that is known as Alzheimer's... 

Mostly I Am...trying to anchor myself...

 against the incoming overwhelming tide of circumstance and emotion that threatens to consume me...

as I quietly seek direction, looking right...

 and left...

before stepping off into midair of the uncertain and the unknown and somehow in the midst of this madness finding small spatial rests for my soul...

This summer has left me slightly battered and weather beaten, a collection of tears like a strand of glistening crystalline pearls have been my adornment...

I stepped away to give myself time to adjust and time to grieve the changes taking place.   While she is not gone from this world in a physical sense, mentally the disease is rapidly progressing.  We have been prepared for what lies ahead and it is not a pretty picture.  Home care is no longer an option and we have moved into a new normal of visits to a nursing facility. 

Mostly I Am...counting my blessings...

 Behold, I stand at yet another of life's crossroads and look at my circumstances and the world around me.  I examine where I am and where I could be, my lot in life at the current moment is certainly difficult but it is also not as bad as it could be.  I ask for the ancient path of grace to pave the way.  I seek the good in this situation as we move forward.  I graciously accept the small rests for my soul, a very brief trip to the shore in late spring, a leisurely stroll through a botanical garden mid-summer, rambling along dirt roads to and from the farm, the legacy of my grandmother's garden, snippets of studio time, and even my own backyard.

I've decided to give myself a break regarding my life and my activities, particularly when to push ahead and when to pull back, living quietly and consistently, collecting steam for the future.  I cannot say why this mad hatter of a path has been chosen for our family but I can say that I live a most extraordinary life these days.  I am a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a caretaker, a friend, an artist, a writer, an amateur photographer, and a memory keeper.  I am indeed blessed!

Blessings,

Sandy