Friday, February 4, 2011


A daughter is a mother's gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, and extension of her self. And mothers are their daughters' role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships.

- Victoria Scunda -
Conversations with her are beginning to take on so much more meaning. This one began with a simple silly question and answer session pinging back and forth through the air waves from one residence to the other. Tiny keys were being tapped and pings heard on both ends once messages were delivered, not my favorite way to carry on a conversation. I prefer face to face time, seeing an expression or catching a glint in the eye, the animation of a mouth in movement as it pours forth sound. I want to hear voices lilt in the rise and fall of emotion. I am a visual conversationalist.
But, not for the world would I have given up the few scant minutes in which this particular conversation took place. Of all the things she could have been doing or of all the people she could have asked, it was me she wanted an opinion from...as an art person. Nothing prepared me for the well of emotion those few scant words conjured up.
This was our cyber conversation:

*Ping Ping*

Hey, as an art person you might understand my question. What color are clouds?
(A devilish streak took over and I gave her the home school answer knowing this was not what she was seeking. Sorry, once a teacher always a teacher.)

From space clouds look white but the color changes when light is refracted through it like when they look pink at sunrise or gray in rain, since they are moisture they really have no color. Also the intensity of color can be due to the thickness of the clouds. Too scientific?

*Ping Ping*

Ha ha. I was looking for more of an artful view but right answer. Like, clouds are gray and blue and pink and yellow and plots of color.
Oh, let me try again.

Clouds are wisps of spun white sugar against a field of blue on a lazy summer day. Clouds are cotton candy pink in the early blush of the morning. Clouds are steel blue like the iron girders of a skeletal sky scraper on a gray winter day. Why?

*Ping Ping*

Better. I don't know, I heard it in a movie and wondered how many people would just say white.

*Ping Ping*

I think of them as being gray and blue with a hint of yellow most of the time. It made me think of how a painter sees things. No color is just as it appears.

The discussion continued as we discussed dutch painters and the Mona Lisa. The conversation concluded that we were in agreement, neither of us were big fans of the Mona Lisa.

I thought to myself, What just happened here? This was a whole new line of communication, a foreign form for me to be sure, but, a language she has fully embraced and she wanted me to experience it with her...texting. I never thought modern technology would be able to bring us any closer but I felt a shift from mother/daughter to friend/friend. This could have very well been a conversation between my best friend and myself.That one little phrase, ...as an art person..., kept ringing like a chime over and over in my mind. I sensed that this text session was underscored with meaning. Art, the creation of beautiful or significant things. Person, a human being or an individual. I was no longer just a mama who made things but a real art person, an individual, who created things of significance and had an opinion of value that she wanted to share.

While texting will never be my favorite form of communication this will remain one of my favorite cyber conversations, the day my daughter saw me as something other than a mother and the day I saw her as something other than a daughter, we are friends.

P.S. The photos in this post are of a piece of jewelry my daughter made. The past few Monday afternoons we have spent together in the studio, I as her teacher and she my student, making a variety of fabric flowers. She loved the necklace I made her for Christmas so much she wanted to learn how to make them herself, this is her first effort. I think she did an amazing job and she is a pretty amazing person too!


Lori @ Katies Rose Cottage Designs said...

Sandy ~
That is so very precious!!
Oh my goodness you
are making me cry ~

I love the beautiful
necklace too!


Susan deGeneres said...

I just have to say...I love your writing as much as your art. I think the necklace is fabulous, and so can see that the proverbial apple does not fall far from the tree. (I really didn't intend for that to rhyme, must be your influence. LOL!)


Sandy said...

Lovely story! And, your daughter is as talented as her mother. I love her necklace. Sweet sweet! xoso Sandy O

Sonya Badgley said...

The necklace is beautiful. She has talent like her mother! And her mother is a good teacher!
I agree with you on the texting...that is how my daughter chooses to communicate with me too. But it makes me feel good that she communicates with me at all! It started about the time she was getting married now that I think about it... Now that she is a mother too, her respect for me has deepened. Just you wait and see...:)it's a wonderful feeling when you are considered more than just a mother to your daughter, huh? I am rejoicing with you, dear girl.

Charlene said...

The stories & way you tell them are so artistic!!!! And I see that dear daughter has Momma's talent running deep in her veins! I LOVE the purple velvet flowers! HUGS!

Bonita said...

This is beautiful, Sandy! All of it- the pictures, the words, the friendship- exquisite. You're reaping all those years of pouring into her. Now she sees it, understands it, appreciates it. I very much want this same relationship with my daughter when she's older. Thanks so much for sharing and letting me see that it can happen.

Unknown said...

Wow! Just wow! Your opening quote touched on all I believe, all I try to stay aware of with my daughters. Sadly, I never had that with my mom, and she has now passed, so we never will. But I am grateful for being given the chance on the "other end", as the mom instead of the daughter, to have those conversations and build those connections. Thank you for reminding me of that blessing :-)

PS..when I read "what color are clouds?", white was not answer that even occurred to me! LOL!

Vee said...

Sweetness itself...very precious conversation you enjoyed.

Dorthe said...

Sandy,-yes it is wonderfull, sharing new kind of conversations, with our daughters...
I feel happy,too -when we have had such a talk, now and then--but I also know, that we every time will return to the mother-daughter status ,because that`s what we are-... and then there will ,sometimes pop up, those wonderfull moments, of frienship talk,too-
Wonderfull, being both mother-and friend.

Your daughter made a gorgeus necklace- -the lilac flowers are so beautifull,- and the whole a fantastic piece, to wear.
Thanks for this so very beautifull post, dearest Sandy.
Love and hugs, from me.

Shopgirl said...

This touched my heart because my Daughter Jenny is my best friend. She is very creative, and loves life. Wants the world to be nicer and tries to help it happen. I love being her Mom and I love loving her. Hugs, Mary

Unknown said...

Beautiful necklace your daughter made.
Also, beautiful conversation between the two of you.
Thanks for sharing both.

Anonymous said...

She DID do an amazingly beautiful job! 'Way to go friend's daughter!

And I don't text with my daughters, but we do email....a LOT!! Danielle is the phone person. Holly and I probably email 15X a day minimum! It's wonderful! I think about how much it used to cost to call one another on the phone long distance. It seems like both of my girls are closer because of technology.

And we can share pictures too! Which is doubly wonderful! We can send an email at the drop of a hat, silly things, important things...mother-daughter things.
I love it! Considering I can't visit them at the drop of a hat, it's the next best thing.

Hugs, Diane

Unknown said...

What a fun and precious conversation to have had with your daughter. The necklace she made is lovely and looks so beautiful against that white dress.

Thespoena McLaughlin said...

What a beautiful piece! I love the velvet incorporated. Great layers!

Unknown said...

Beautiful necklace! I loved your daughter story. So sweet. My daughter and I are best buds. When it comes to art and all things decorating, we think just alike.

Kim from The Sheep's Nest said...

Thank you for such a lovely post. You reminded me that I am a daughter to my artful mother and an artful mother to my daughter's. The circle of life and the true friends we can find so very close to home as we see ourselves reflected in the eyes of our mothers and our daughters. Thank you again for sharing such an inspirational moment.

Vicki said...

What a sweet moment for mother and daughter to share. Your writing is just as beautiful as your mixed media art.

The French Bear said...

Sandy, you have passed on your artistic abilities and your warm heart....what a beautiful necklace...your daughter shares so many traits and talent is one of them!!!!
I love the post, it does make me want to hug my daughter, that's a wonderful thing to inspire in readers.......thanks!
Margaret B

Lady Jane said...

you have a precious relationship with your daughter. It made for a lovely read. And that necklace is beautiful.

Ragamuffin Gal said...

My grandmother would say "The acorn doesn't fall too far from the tree" how lucky she is to have you for a mother and lucky you because she sounds so precious! Blessings to you Miss Sandy!
Lovingly ~

Edie Marie's Attic said...

What a wonderful conversation! It's so special when our children think of us as a "person". THank you for sharing such a profound moment with us!

Love the necklace your daughter created! Gives me some great ideas in line with what I've been wanting to do with some of my old jewelry.

Big hugs, Sherry

Marianne said...

*ping ping*

Lovely post as usual
thank you

Elizabeth said...

Miss Sandy,

I came over here to tell you that I gave you an award on my blog, if you are interested:


HOWEVER, I fell in love with that necklace. Is there a tutorial on how to do that? It is incredible and I LOVE IT!

You and your daughter are so very talented!

God bless,

Candy said...

Can't thank you enough for sharing this conversation...it tugged at my heart strings.
Tuesday Heart Blessings ;-)

Karen Valentine said...

Oh Sandy!! Tell her we all think it's fabulous!!!! Obviously talent runs in the family! Blessings to you on this glorious day!!

The Rustic Victorian said...

Oh yes, how fun to have a daughter to share with...she got your genes!
The necklace is wonderful, the blouse too.

Unknown said...

Wonderful necklace ! Love your blog , and I love that little lacy top ,it's so me , or what I want me to be .

larkswing said...

Reading this with your music choice playing in the background, ahhhhh. I love that necklace!!!

What do you call a person so wants to see color and life as you do, wants to be more artistic, and so appreciates the words and creative work you place out here for our pleasure? Somewhere between inspired and jealous :)

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